Okay, strictly speaking this isn’t a coffee count so much as a chai count. But since it’s still universally accepted to say coffee when you mean any hot beverage, as in, do you want a coffee, having a coffee break, etc, im going with that.
I’m going to explain up front that I don’t do coffee (coffee). I love coffee but I’m allergic to it. Well to caffeine actually. I know it seems to be all the rage to say ‘oh I’m allergic to xxx’. But I really am. It caused severe episodes of ‘IBS’ (allergic reaction it turns out) and angry red welt like eczema patches on my face and body. I scratched. The welts got angrier. People stared. Oh, that can’t be right I said when they told me what I was allergic to after cytotoxic allergy tests. I love coffee. Oh, but it is they said. See this test result. HIGHLY allergic to caffeine. Sigh. I gave it up (along with all those other things… including wine, yes wine. NOOOO!) and my IBS and eczema went away.
So now I drink chai…in moderation. Store bought powdered crap, well that’s okay because there really isn’t much tea in that. But real honest to goodness chai made with leaves and brewed with a touch on honey…to die for. But I save that for once a week because tea still has caffeine in it. But when I’m out and about I enjoy having a chai break.
Which brings me back to the coffee (chai) count. My coffee (chai) count is a result of bad coffee (chai) service. So really it’s just about bad customer service. Today I ordered a large skinny chai latte. And out came a strong latte (coffee). Last week I ordered an extra large skinny chai latte. And out came a large. The week before I ordered an extra large skinny chai latte and out came a large. The week before that…you guessed it. Then there’s been one with no sweetener, one with so much sweetener it set my fillings on edge, and the one with the tea leaves and spices still floating in it (I’d like it without the twigs next time I said. I was a regular and they laughed and forever took my order as ‘chai without the twigs’ after that). Recently I’ve taken to pointing at the exact sized cup I want and enunciating slowly like they’re slightly deaf. I feel as imbecilic as I probably look. And still they get my order wrong.
I know, not exactly up there with international problems but when you can’t drink coffee you want the chai, even if it is fake chai, to bring a little pleasure to your day.
And so begins my coffee (chai) count. How many orders can be delivered wrong to my table. And now that its become amusing I’m almost hoping they dont get it right.